Yuhuuu….Welcome to My pAgE!!

Im pissed. Im all childish and selfish when im pissed.

Achiever itu apa sih? What is so good of being an achiever and what is so wrong about being a non-achiever?

Gue akhir-akhir ini lagi merasa keseeelll…Gue mulai bingung dengan @ yang sekarang. Well, I’ve been questioning on how @ works si tapi I did many compromising juga kok. Gue sangat mengerti kok klo gak semua hal bisa sesuai yg gue inginkan. Itu gue tau, gue gak dangkal dalam hal itu.

Ada satu tokoh di cerita komik Naruto, namanya Shikamaru. He’s this lazy character who loves to stare up the clouds during the day and playing Shogi. He hates troubles and avoids it the best he can. He always tries to have a simple life, staying out of troubles pretty much. Even so, he has this superb strategic thinking. He’s genius at analyzing a situation. Dia emang terlihat cuek banget tapi sebenernya dia orang yang sangat peduli ma temen2nya. He would help his friends whenever they’re in trouble the best way he can. So, what do you think about this Shikamaru guy? Is he an achiever or not? To hell with achievement, I think he has great values within him.

Apa si yang sebenernya di-value ma @? Achievements dari member2nya atau membernya itu sendiri?

It really hit my limit when there is this rule about so-called non active member. How come you do such thing to the people who make up @ itself. What is @ really? It’s not like it’s a business organization isn’t? I know about the expansion issue. I know @ is trying to grow, to become big. There’s absolutely nothing wrong about that. But please, state it from the beginning so people would have the understanding.

To cross out members like that is a very personal problem. Kenapa si gak pernah dipikir klo dilaksanakan gitu aja akan ada orang2 yg sakit hati. Trus knapa gak ada pendekatan yg personal sama sekali si? Knapa harus diumumin cuma lewat list nama2?! Bagaimanapun juga these people have given something to @ even if it’s in the past. Has that been considered though? I don’t think so. Knapa si semuanya harus tentang apa yg bisa diberikan ke @? To make it worse, hanya current contribution that counts. Orang-orang yang terlihat gak aktif bukan berarti gak peduli, bukan berarti mreka gak ngerti.

I really don’t like myself like this. Takutnya gue akan jadi orang2 yang akan bilang “unfortunately im an @ alumni” (although, as far as I know, there is this new criteria if i want to be called as an alumni in which I don’t think I’ll fill the criteria to be an alumni, which is totally fine by me).

Gue kecewa, gue marah, gue sakit hati.

Hari ini (eh kmaren, berhubung skarang udah jam 1 pagi) stres bgt!! Stres stres, kesel sampe mau makan orang rasanya! hihiy…tapi at least ada satu keinginan gue yg terkabul, and it made my day =)

Senaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaangggggggggggggg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sabar sabar…jadi orang harus bisa sabar…

Hey there Delilah,
What’s it like in New York City?
I’m a thousand miles away,
But girl tonight you look so pretty,
Yes you do,
Time Square can’t shine as bright as you,
I swear it’s true.

Hey there Delilah,
Don’t you worry about the distance,
I’m right there if you get lonely,
Give this song another listen,
Close your eyes,
Listen to my voice it’s my disguise,
I’m by your side.

Oh it’s what you do to me 4x
What you do to me.

Hey there Delilah,
I know times are getting hard,
But just believe me girl some day,
I’ll pay the bills with this guitar,
We’ll have it good,
We’ll have the life we knew we would,
My word is good.

Hey there Delilah,
I’ve got so much left to say,
If every simple song I wrote to you,
Would take your breath away,
I’d write it all,
Even more in love with me you’d fall,
We’d have it all.

Oh it’s what you do to me 4x

A thousand miles seems pretty far,
But they’ve got planes and trains and cars,
I’d walk to you if I had no other way,
Our friends would all make fun of us,
And we’ll just laugh along because,
We know that none of them have felt this way,
Delilah I can promise you,
That by the time that we get through,
The world will never ever be the same,
And you’re to blame.

Hey there Delilah you be good,
And don’t you miss me,
Two more years and you’ll be done with school,
And I’ll be making history,
Like I do,
You’ll know it’s all because of you,
We can do whatever we want to,
Hey there Delilah here’s to you,
This one’s for you.

Oh it’s what you do to me 4x
What you do to me.

Ohhh

January 22nd, 2008, my first saddest day in 2008.
Hahhahahaa….terdengar berlebihan yak!
I finally got to see monas and went up to the top.

At 211 degree F, water is hot. But at 212 degree F, it boils. Boiled water produces steam and steam can move a train. One extra degree makes all the difference.

Supposedly, one extra effort would do the same.

Everyone is Earth.

Kita punya orang2 yg menganggap kita adalah pusat dunia mereka. We’re the center of their universe. For them, i think we need to be a good example. Kita berusaha untuk dapat diandalkan, dipercaya, dijadikan tempat paling nyaman untuk segala hal. Kita harus berusaha untuk jadi orang yg emang worth looking up to.

Kita juga punya orang2 yang menjadi pusat gravitasi kita. Each of our worlds revolves around these people. We look up to them. Kita melihat cara mereka ngomong, cara mereka bergerak, dan cara mereka berpikir, dalam banyak hal. Mereka menginspirasi kita. For them we need to be a good observant, a good student.

For both the sun and the moon, we need to be grateful. Orang-orang inilah yang menjadikan kita yang sekarang. They made us who we are. 

Everything is not always about us. But there are times when it is about us.

Saya orang yang suka berpikir. No no, gak selalu memikirkan hal yang penting. More than often si mikirnya yang gak penting, random thoughts ajah. I just like to have a private time with my mind in hoping that i’ll find some inspirations.

Some people think im smart. Am i though?

Im good with words, i assume. Also, im good enough to elaborate it i think. Im not smart, i just sound smart. I got the whole idea in my head because i have way too much time to create it. Then i just need to spit it out. I rarely have trouble saying what’s in my mind when i want it. My biggest problem is to walk the talk.

Yeah, i still need lots of practice when it comes to implement my words. But im working my way to it.

See, im not that smart. Thats me, now you know.

-Dedicated specially untuk PBOX dan EB team-

Aduuuhhh….Jadi orang kok mood2an banget yah. Klo lagi tidak berkompromi dengan situasi pasti gini jadinya, marah2, sensi2an, smuanya dimasukin ke hati. Bahkan sampe hal kecil yang super gak penting sebenernya.

I feel like i’ve had so much in my hands lately. Stuck di AIESEC padahal "cuma" ngurusin dua projects. No, bukan mengeluh tentang AIESEC nya kok, cuma kerjaannya aja. Hehehee….

Gue amat sangat kurang tidur di hampir 2 minggu terakhir. Ketauan banget dari suara gue yang jadi gak stabil dan tampang kucel yang gue tampakkan akhir2 ini. I missed a birthday picnic, a family gathering, and some other things regarding to my social life. I still cant believe that im going to miss the next KITA-KITA com. service =(

Klo udah kaya gini tiap hal kecil pasti jadi masalah. Contohnya tadi, hanya sebuah sms biasa dari teman malah bikin gue pengen nangis. Bikin jadi sedih dan kepikiran. Gue jadi merasa klo tiap orang punya seseorang yg bisa bikin senang. Me, im all alone. All i have is this big pile of work i need to do. Tapi mudah2an ini emang gara2 gue lagi cape aja, dan bukan karna hal lainnya. Gue masih blom siap ni klo harus sakit hati lagi. I need to draw a line and stop making fuss over this thing. I need to be genuine!!!

I might have overeacted now. As i told u, im just so freakin tired. I actualy have passion in this project im currently preparing. I want to start this project and see how it’s gonna end.

Oh God, help us all here.

Anybody care to shoot me now?? Gosh, sooooo tired, and still so many things to do. I wish i can be gone for a moment, make an escape.

I’ve just finished with one thing today and the next thing-to-do is coming up soon. Im talking hours soon.

My father is the love of my life. I dont know if i ever said that before but i’ve just realized it recently. Maybe it sounds cheesy too but that is the fact.

My father is the person that always talks to me. He doesnt tell me everything but he tells me important stuff. He tells me about the stock market condition, about matter happens with his sister, about how he yelled at his staff in the office, etc. He also tells me a lot about whatever newest gadget that is now in the market. Basically he tells me things that would make me feel important, make me feel that im mature enough for the conversations. He likes to joke too. Being the only man in the family, surrounded by 4 women, bapak adalah yang paling iseng. Temen2 bilang si gue iseng juga orangnya but now you know where i got that from.

My father married young. He’s only 46 now. He wasnt the best father when i was young, he was quite tempramental. He got angry easily and he’s not good when he’s angry, even until now.

But my father has changed. That’s what im very proud of him. He really becomes wiser and i can tell that he’s very sorry for every mistake he did in the past. 

Ayah saya tidak pernah terlihat panik. When everything goes wrong, he would simply take it on the positive side. Ayah saya tidak pernah membuat kami, anak2nya, merasa panik. Bahkan jika keadaan sudah benar2 buruk, he would make jokes to ease the situation. It’s not like i cant see when the worst is coming, i can. But my father would make it as something that’s not so important, masalah yang cuma lewat sekilas.

It’s true that we sould live our lifes the way we want it. I want to make my father happy, to make him proud of me. That is the life i’ve chosen. He was there on the day i was born, he’s there whenever im in trouble, and he’s still here now even when i’ve dissappointed him. Now im sure that he will always there for me. I choose to live the life that would make him proud. Mungkin bagi beberapa orang ini adalah hal yang dipaksakan, kayanya ngejalanin hidup orangtua banget. Tapi ini bukan paksaan kok, ini pilihan, my choice. This is just a small price to pay when he has been the love of my life.

"Dad, im sorry. I never knew that you’ve put so much trust in me. I know that you had your biggest dissappoinment in me, and yet you’re still there. You’re still my dad, with every greatness that you are."